DR appointment UPDATE.. staying in my lane!!!! LIVE TONIGHT!
Apr 4, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHNneuN0vds

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that was hey Wang all right you guys I
back I am back from the doctors oh my
goodness oh my gonna try to like do my
lights here where they're not reflecting
in my face but enough light to like
shine me on um no I just got home from
the doctor's that wasn't longer
disappointment so my doctor's
appointment was at 11:30 but he wanted
me to come in earlier so that they could
do a blood draw on me but he needed me
to get my blood test results back
hopefully before my appointment so I
went in and did my blood work well they
were so far behind that I got to sit in
the waiting room um i sat in the waiting
room for like a good 40 minutes but it
was okay I got to see my favorite full
botanist she is the most amazing person
ever and so we got to catch up and she
watches my channel so we got to discuss
some of the things that have been going
on the last couple of days and you know
getting her perspective really helps me
so much and she pointed out some really
good things you know she has a good way
of putting it to where it's Amy you know
you really got to watch everything
around you
and you know this is how the world turns
and so talking to her really you know
she put some really good things in my my
mind and I was just like you know you're
right you know I'm I'm wrong in a lot of
things and so anyways that was that was
beyond the point but it was a good visit
for a few minutes with her and then I
went to the doctors and he did prescribe
me I can't remember the name of it right
off the top of my head but um he did
prescribe me a medicine it's one time a
day blood pressure medicine I have never
been put on blood pressure before but
the last couple of days due to I think
some of the activity that's been going
on I did get some pretty high readings
so we felt well not really me but he
felt confident that putting me on a low
dose of blood pressure medicine will
help with the headaches that I've been
having yes me where let me see well
they're not they're here give them to
mom they're not toys but I will let you
have one what color would you like no no
no I said one one okay okay you found my
little stash so anyways he went ahead
and he prescribed me okay that's it go
sit down with it there's your pineapple
I'm sure sissy's gonna want me when she
comes in from her now um so he put me on
a low dose of one time a day and it's
also a diuretic I don't know if that's
normal for blood pressure meds I don't
know but he said that that will help
with my swelling because don't pull that
out honey you'll break it because I I
definitely have been retaining water
really bad like my feet are really
swollen but again I think it has
to do with just everything going on in
my body so it's time mm-hmm it's time
that Amy you know I I have to take care
of my mental health along with my
physical health and everything else and
today was the first step to calling for
help and well actually I called
yesterday but they didn't get back to me
until today but going in because I knew
I knew that I something was off
something was just not something just
was not kicking really well so he did
that he wants me to hold off because he
did change my antidepressant pills but I
haven't started him yet because my for
my pharmacy was taking so long to get
the prescription filled the pharmacy I
go through they have a hard time like
catching up with their orders they're
really good pharmacy but I went ahead
and switched over to Costco pharmacy
hoping to have a better experience with
them so we are holding off on changing
my depression pills until I get okay can
you go play with your pineapple please
okay
go ahead and wait until I you almost
fell honey what are you wanting to do
smile him oh you want to show your
friends your plan Apple well I ain't
show my green wall so you have to come
the stretching towards me
there's the stranger stranger danger oh
that's his hair okay go play with your
pineapple in his hair anyways um but
wait for me to change all of my other
pills until we get this other stuff
under control we did not weigh in today
he had the nurse hold off on Wayne he
said that he didn't want to weigh me
because the weight isn't going to
reflect what I am doing right now
and he said headspace wise I'm not in
the best head space right now just with
my depression and my anxiety and
everything else and he doesn't think
that it's a healthy thing que tomar I'm
recording can you wait a minute that he
doesn't feel that it would benefit me
any right now to worry about my scale
weight not seeing that you know oh my
god I'm gonna go off on a binge and I'm
gonna you know Oh what do you want no no
no no these are for my these are for my
keychains I'm not doing that right now
okay we'll talk about this in a little
bit okay thank you
go play with that in his hair go in a
minute in a minute okay
listen to what I have to say go please
go play ouch sorry I'm moving my leg oh
um anyways he said that he just doesn't
think that reflecting much on my number
fixie 18 on the number on the scale
right now is healthy for me because of
my mental state and where I'm at right
now
and that I need to get back to where I
was so he did not want me to weigh in
today he requested I guess with a nurse
not to help me get on the scale he
requested that I do not get on the scale
at home for just right now until we get
everything else everything else under
control
ABS me nervous because I personally you
know I look forward to actually getting
on this scale I you know it's an
accountability time for me but it's also
an accountability that I give to you
guys he just doesn't want me fixating on
my numbers right now with where I'm at
in my mind space my head space whatever
you want to call it space um you know
I'm feeling much better today and I've
I've had a good day where I just I
needed that down moment and I really had
a nice time I took the kids out and we
fed the Ducks yes
and it was so nice like I literally just
really enjoyed my time and I just kept
my phone put away and just really
embraced the moment and it was really
nice I needed that
and so getting up this morning I felt
refreshed I felt good you know and I
felt like I could conquer the world
again and that's that's what I want to
do so I'm excited to get these meds
filled and start on all of that I
definitely am interested to see with
this hope with like my tire because I
told him I said I have just been so
physically exhausted like exhausted to
the point where I wake up in the morning
and within a half an hour
I'm already dozing back off and I'm
sitting up and I will literally just be
like trying you know I have fallen
asleep this week with my tea in my hand
and just fell asleep because I'm just so
exhausted and that's just not me like
I'm just not that's just not me so
trying to get under this whole ability
of getting my pills regular and getting
back on I love to have to make a
physical you know a day go by and be
able to be physical and not be so
exhausted that it's just like ripping
every shred of me to make it through the
day that is IQ so anywho what else was I
gonna say
today well today is Thursday so today is
my life but or no no no today is not my
life I am sorry I don't go live until
next from Thursday do I go live next
Thursday or is I like you guys now I'm
torn
no I don't know do I go live today or
tomorrow I mean do I go live this week
or next week
what is the date
I really so I do go live tonight but
there is not a topic this week you know
what's really crazy is last the last
life that I did remember where I said
that my topic was binge eating do you
know that my my life could not be
monetized I don't know why but it came
back I manually had it checked and they
came back and said after manually
checking it we didn't still don't feel
that it's suitable for monetization I
was like oh my gosh like I didn't
realize that we talked about anything
that shouldn't have been talked about
but I guess maybe I did so this week
it's not any particular thing and you
guys I apologize I did not get to
writing everybody's names down so I'm
going to postpone the giveaway until the
next live which won't be this coming
Thursday but the Thursday after so I
believe it's the 18th I want to say but
stop so we'll do the light or we'll do
the giveaway then because I with all the
stuff going on this last week I anyways
I didn't get a chance to write
everybody's names down I'm so sorry but
I will get everything up and ready so
you still have time to put your name in
the drawing if you haven't already I
haven't decided what my drawings gonna
be yet but it will be a surprise so
anywho that is that I did I am so
excited I did get a new book you guys I
ordered it so I will also put that down
in the description box so you guys if
you want so that way you guys will have
time to go and order the book if you
want to have it to read along with us
and hope well it will be here able to do
it together and do our writings and our
readings and oh I'm so excited but for
today we have our normal book and so
aside
and let's see March 3rd today I accept
that becoming my best will require a
ruthless purge of what no longer serves
me lifestyle choices negative mindsets
and toxic people people and soda yeah I
swear that's what it says look this book
Amish she can read me and read my mind
you guys let's read that one again today
I accept that becoming my best will
require a ruthless purge of what no
longer serves me lifestyle choices
negative mindsets and toss toxic people
and soda how random but how true because
oh my god you guys it's been like so
hard the last couple of days because I
have been really on the struggle bus
with this whole wanting to take a sip of
a soda and I've really been really
struggling and I think it's just my
mindset has been so off the last few
days and I have been allowing a lot of
toxic mist to come into my mind and into
my lifestyle at the moment that that
soda is what has run in and I actually
came home and made a vitamin water
but you have no idea how bad I wanted to
stop on the way home today and get a
soda that is random but that well that's
almost spooky I had to show you guys it
said so duh it's like a fortune cookie
anyways but no it is true you know it
comes to a point where you have to but
it's true though especially this last
couple of days you know I've really had
to go through reflecting and uh uh when
I say I have been reflecting girls and
boys women and men gents and gentlemen
are ginseng
oh my god ladies and gentlemen ladies
and gents um ma'am and sir
yes I have done some serious serious
serious reflection of where I am where I
have traveled off to and where I need to
come back to what I need to do to make
those changes happen which is one
learning to stay in Amy's lane and not
veering off into any other like hanging
that does not have my name written on it
stay in my lane stay on my journey focus
on my stuff and I'll be okay and and
just you know not not throwing out toxic
people because you know I understand
that there are toxic people but I think
it's toxic behaviors are what lead us
into a toxic relationship lifestyle
toxic choices of our own self things
that we normally don't do because it's
just not in our personality but the
toxic miss around us can lead us to that
direction and so on and so forth and I
think in reality it comes down to that
is so true that it doesn't take a toxic
person to make a person toxic but toxic
behaviors toxic actions toxic
personalities can definitely make a
person toxic and so weaning those things
out and keeping my distance and loving
from afar doesn't mean that I have to
lay hate it doesn't mean that I have to
love up close and be 100% involved and
invested in everything around me but
loving from afar and keeping my distance
a loving distance lending a hand when
when needed but when asked not when I
feel the hand needs to be led to and you
know not biting the hand that feeds me
meaning I'm not trying to say this in a
bad way but biting a hand
is you guys you and not in the
particular amount that you feed me but
you guys are why I come here you guys
are the reason why I'm here
and when I say biting the hand that
feeds me is hurting the people that are
on my channel watching my channel
throwing my toxic behaviors my toxic
mentalness my toxic personality that I
had endured for the last couple of days
putting that through a stream can
definitely affect other people around it
doesn't just have to be oh well you know
I'm in my own spot this is me this is my
this is my you know my youtube channel
this is me this is for me this is mine
no it's not it's not just mine I share
this platform with all of you that watch
me
so my behaviors my personality my
problems become so many other people's
problems because so many people are so
physically and mentally and emotionally
invested in me and my journey which I
take so highly I take that so highly and
I'm so honored that so many people are
totally invested in me and my life so
it's not just about me this isn't just
my platform and I am sharing this
platform with so many people that what I
am putting out is what people are taking
in and that taking in can go out to the
world and be to everybody else so how I
am showing myself can reflect on every
one of you that are watching me and I
don't want that to be you know the
person you view me as is that toxic
person or the person you need to purge
out of your life because I don't want
that you know that's not who I am and I
would never want anybody to perceive me
as that so because of that this is my
platform but this is also all of your
guys's platform because you all come
here we all join together on the same
platform and we all are together we're
all intertwined we all
know each other in our own courses of
life and so me promoting positiveness
and acceptance and love and
encouragement and support will only go
through to you guys to be the same but
if I'm spewing out nonsense and you know
hurtful things and mean 'fl things and
things that are not my business or
whatever that's going to go out to all
of you guys and you guys are going to
have that reflection against yourselves
so that reading makes a lot of sense
because I do have to I have to learn to
love from afar and stay in Amy's lane
because Amy's Lane is so big I have so
much that I have to focus on on myself
that I don't have time to be focusing on
anything or anybody else and yes there
are triggers that I I see on YouTube
that trigger me in remembering things
that I that are actions that I've taken
at one time you know there's things that
I see on people's channels that you know
take me back to you know when I was at a
certain size you know when I would put
all my highest weight was five eight or
five fifteen when I got to five fifteen
how I I could not you know I could not
dress myself without help from my family
I could not use the restroom without
help or assistance I could not even step
over a bathtub without assistance
I could not brush my hair almost because
it was just so much work my arms would
get too tired I would just be out of
breath I would already pouring sweat
when I just get out of the shower
multiple infections all over my skin
from just the fold sweating and you know
and so there are things on but it
doesn't even have to be YouTube channels
it could be TV channels there are things
that will always trigger me to think
back and go like well I remember when
you know now I'm at the point where I
can shower myself I bathe myself I use
the restroom by myself
go shopping by myself I take my children
shopping with me sometimes by myself
there's so many things that I can do now
by myself but there are still things
that I have to have assistance with and
that's still a trigger for me and I
don't want to continue to push myself
back into that corner where I was at one
time I strive to make changes but I want
and I love so many people I want
everybody to be in the same the the same
Oh what do you want to say it I want
everybody to be at the same level as I
am that was behind me at one point
meaning I'm not saying I am better than
anybody because I clearly have so many
issues myself that I'm still dealing
with but I am now I'm at a point where I
can shower myself and use the restroom
and things like that by myself that I
want everybody to be in that experience
because it's such a great experience to
take that back and have that you know
have that stick back and say oh my gosh
I can shower myself I can you know I can
use the restroom I can dress myself I
can take my clothes off I can brush my
own hair I can you know do all the
things that I've wanted to do I'm
starting to be able to do those things
but then again there are still so many
things that I want to do that I can't do
yet I can't travel yet I can't go on
hikes like I want to with my family you
know I want to take a family trip to
Disneyland I can't do that right now
because I'd have to be in a motor cart
for that and our mobility scooter and I
I wouldn't I that's not the way that I
want to go on a family vacation I want
to be able to get on rides with my kids
and enjoy those things so it's like
every achievement that I make I just
want to see other people make those same
achievements because I feel so good to
achieve something I guess it's like
mainly the biggest thing with me and so
but I have to remember we all start our
our journeys at our own time because the
achievements are they feel so good but I
have to remember that everybody will
start their journey when they're ready
and maybe they've already started and
maybe they're happy with where they're
at and that's okay that's not my place
to judge or say that that person is
wrong for where they've been or where
they're
right now I know that I'm wrong where I
have been in the past because that's not
the lifestyle I wanted and that's not
where I was at but I think over time
from being in my therapy I have learned
so much about my coping skills that but
I still fail though there are still days
where I still will turn to food for my
coping because that's what my mechanism
has been for so many years so I'm still
such a big far work in progress so I see
where my colors really didn't shine very
bright a few weeks are a few days ago
and that's why I am just you know I'm
putting my hands together and I'm just
saying you know what Amy's gonna stay on
i-5 in her Lane I ain't gonna even put
my blinker on and try to swerve into a
different Lane he's gonna stay straight
and we're gonna enjoy this ride together
all of us but I just want to thank
everybody for all the awesome messages
you guys are so amazing I am NOT gonna
do a reaction comment video this week I
think that everybody kind of knows what
comments have been put out there and I
really don't feel the need to have to
respond back to all of them I've read
them all but I think this is just a
chapter I want to close and I want to
restart fresh this you know starting
today and have an awesome set rest of
the week with amazing comments that I
can come back on Sunday and read and
enjoy but I think that this Wednesday's
comments are good to just be sild and
and you know read amongst each other if
that's what you guys want to do but I
just need to really protect Amy and when
I say really protect Amy I need to just
focus on me and and I am aware of that
and I've been poking my nose and a
little bit too many people's business
and I need to stay
by my on my own tracks so with that said
I love you all thank you so much for
coming to my channel and subscribing if
you have not please do so so that you
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hit that notification bell so you get
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you're seeing and it definitely lets
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seeing is what is enjoyed by all and
keep continuing to share my name out
there so we can get more more more and
more viewers
I am updating more of my information on
my keychains
so all keychains are three ninety-nine
plus shipping which I don't know what
shipping is just yet I don't think it
really is gonna be much because they're
very light so all keychains are three
ninety-nine so if there's a keychain
that you guys like let me know I've got
more Kurian right now my tumblers for my
stainless still are $25 and my plastics
are $16 and coffee cups are $5.99 but
then that doesn't include shipping so
you have to add shipping into that but I
will have all the figurations here soon
so that you guys can see everything I'm
so excited let's get out there and start
and join this beautiful weather that has
been going on today and I will see you
guys tonight and actually just a little
bit I will be checking in with you guys
so I hope to see you guys all there talk
to you later
bye bye
